![]() ––"Now that's how you do a hard-rockin' death scene––wow! And does it say "Death Records" on that album, there? This must be a crossover with De Palma's PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE, where Paul Williams' 'Death Records' offered Faustian bargains to up-and-coming musicians." I don't see no ship in our driveway.' He meets a well-deserved fate when a demonically possessed record pulls a full VIDEODROME by bubbling into living vinyl flesh,Īnd finally drags him headfirst into a wall-mounted speaker." Tells his metalhead son that 'Only two kinds of men wear earrings: pirates and faggots. ![]() In service of this theme, there's a Tipper Gore-style square ranting about the corruption of youth:Īnd a brilliant scene where a fuddy-duddy dad played by Vincent Pastore ("Big Pussy" from THE SOPRANOS!) To switch gears for a moment, it bears mentioning that BLACK ROSES was actually quite timely, released in the era of lawsuits against acts like Priest and Ozzy and Slayer, blaming them for dead children, felonies, suicides, and the like. ––"At least the sweatshirt is in Halloween colors. To put the screws to Satan and his hard rockin' minions! He does it all while looking like a poor man's Tom Atkins and wearing a bitchin' striped sweatshirt." "An English teacher (John Martin) takes a break from teaching Walt Whitman to a bunch of middle-aged high school students He's a fearless performer, and he pulls out all the stops, whether in demon form or in an S&M harness. "And did I mention that the lead singer, Damian (played by Sal Viviano), kinda looks like Jon Bon Jovi combined with John Tesh?" "But if they can afford Lamborghinis and have this personal, Faustian relationship with Satan, I really don't understand why they're playing low-rent, wood-paneled high school gymnasiums in lesser Ontario." They drive around exclusively in Lamborghinis, which leads directly to this kickass main title, which deserves to be immortalized on the side of a roadie's van, or at least on a velvet canvas: "Well, the demon band travels from town to town, turning their audiences into minor demons and zombies. If it doesn't, then what the hell are you even doing here?" Does that appeal to you? Then watch BLACK ROSES. I mean, you could say that this film climaxes early, but who cares, if that means watching demonic hair metal?" Less than thirty seconds in, we have a full-on demon hair metal concert!" BLACK ROSES is certainly in the same vein, except this time instead of a rock band battling demons, we have a high school teacher battling a demonized rock band. Something about a hair metal dude named Jon Mikl Thor trying to attack his own nipples with a rubber starfish while he fights a puppet Satan?" From Long Island-auteur John Fasano, the director of the seminal hard rockin' horror flick ROCK N' ROLL NIGHTMARE ( which I reviewed seven years ago, dear Lord)." "What you're looking at here is essentially REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE meets FAUST at HEAVY METAL PARKING LOT." –"What the hell is this, with this 3-D VHS cover?––a skeleton's trying to give me an overgrown guitar?" Miller, I would be hysterical, because Mr. ![]() Notable Cast or Crew: John Martin (DAYS OF OUR LIVES, THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS), Ken Swofford (THELMA & LOUISE, THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN), Sal Viviano (THE JITTERS, SPIKE OF BENSONHURST), Julie Adams (CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, BEND OF THE RIVER), Frank Dietz (ROCK N' ROLL NIGHTMARE, THE JITTERS), Carla Ferrigno (Lou Ferrigno's wife), Vincent Pastore (GOODFELLAS, "Big Pussy" on THE SOPRANOS).īest One-liner: "If I was Mrs. Tag-line: "Turn up the volume, turn down the lights, but don't watch it alone!"
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